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Zen
Zarcasm
1.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I
may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. In fact,
just go and leave me
alone.
2.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt and leaky
tire.
3.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like
everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of car
payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile
in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and
you have their shoes.
9.
If at
first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and
he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
again, it was probably
worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the
windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
in half and put it
back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side
and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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